


Three Words - Five Times

by thelonelywriter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Children, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Crushes, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Light Angst, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-06 02:12:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4204020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelonelywriter/pseuds/thelonelywriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times, from second grade to adulthood, that Dean Winchester said 'I love you.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Words - Five Times

**Author's Note:**

> Fluff. Just ~~badly written~~ fluff :)

One.

Dean Winchester sat cross legged on the floor of Miss. Lilith's second grade classroom, listening to her smooth voice as it punctured the silent air. He squirmed in his spot, restless, continuously looking across the room, searching for the dark brown mop of hair that he saw so often.

He had never even talked to Castiel Novak, and he wouldn't admit it, (not when he had been the only one brave enough to cross the monkey bars,) but he was a bit shy when it came to Castiel.

Crushes were the in thing at the moment, all the second graders whispered and giggled and passed notes, trying to find that certain someone whom they believed was their one and only. Children drew hearts around names, combined last names with theirs, exchanged notes, and passed the word from friend to friend to friend that yes, they did, in fact, like like the person that they envisioned marrying.

For Dean, Castiel was that person, the person that he wanted to hold hands with during the savored moments where they sat in the clustered group watching a movie or listening to Miss. Lilith's calming voice. Dean wanted to draw hearts around Castiel's name in red ink, to whisper to his friends how he wanted to kiss him; but he couldn't. Or at least he felt that he couldn't.

There was only one other person in his class, Charlie Bradbury, who was like him. Charlie liked Dorothy, a girl in their class, so Dean knew he wasn't alone in liking someone of the same gender. Charlie and Dean were best friends and Dean still hadn't told her about Castiel. But he decided then that he should, that he would after story time.

\---

After the story was over and the children were sent to their seats, Dean quietly whispered something to Charlie who sat next to him. "Charlie?" he said in a hesitant tone. Charlie turned her head, red hair bouncing as she did so.

"Yeah?" she responded, equally as quietly. Dean fiddled with his fingers, his eyes darting around as he shifted in his seat.

"I might like Castiel," he mumbled, and Charlie's eyes widened.

"Like, like like?" Charlie asked with a little too much enthusiasm. Dean hushed her, watching Miss. Lilith out of the corner of his eye, making sure she wasn't able to hear them talking.

"Kinda," Dean responded, looking Charlie nervously in the eye. This was his first time telling anyone, and his stomach flipped at the thought.

"You have to tell him," Charlie encouraged with a bright-eyed look. Dean's eyes widened as he shook his head aggressively. "Do you want me to tell him?" she asked eagerly. Dean paused and thought about it for a little while. He had liked Castiel for what felt like ages and he was beginning to get antsy. But then again there was the fear of the unknown and the fear of heartbreak. But he remembered how he had crossed the monkey bars, feeling so proud and brave afterwards, and his heart made a leap as he nodded his head. Charlie beamed back at him, fumbling for a pen and paper, scribbling down some words. She pulled back, examining her work before smiling, stuffing the note in her pocket.

\---

At recess that day, Dean stood anxiously by the swings, watching as the sacred, rumpled note was pulled from Charlie's pocket as she crossed the green grass of the school grounds.

Castiel was always found in the same place nearly every day, sitting under a certain oak tree in the shade, simply sitting, simply watching.

Dean watched anxiously as the note was handed over to Castiel. There was no going back now, no room for error, it was all on what Castiel thought, it was all on him. 

Charlie waved Dean over, and Dean's stomach knotted even tighter as he made his way over, each step feeling like a millenia. He managed to avoid looking at Castiel, looking only at the ground until he was right there, standing in front of Castiel Novak, and he swore his heart was about to burst like it did in cartoons.

Charlie looked between them before darting, sprinting away before Dean could even hiss her name, asking her to stay as some sort of comfort because he didn't think he could handle being alone with Castiel.

He looked down shyly at Castiel who still sat under the tree, looking up at Dean with wide, nearly owlish, blue eyes that Dean never imagined could be that blue. Dean was speechless until finally his voice came up from the back of his throat. "Hi," he said hesitantly.

"You can sit down... if you want," Castiel said quickly. As Dean sat next to him, a little farther than he would've liked, he noticed the note that Castiel was clutching in his hands, clutching it for dear life.

"What'd the note say?" Dean inquired quietly, remembering that he hadn't even seen what, exactly, Charlie had written, only used blind faith to trust her.

"That you have a crush on me," Castiel muttered, looking out at the playground. 

Dean didn't know what other to say than to just pick at a piece of grass, waiting to see what Castiel would say next. But instead of saying, he did. He looked over at Dean, shakily and slowly reaching his hand out to grasp for Dean's, who offered his gladly yet nervously. Then, Dean felt Castiel's lips just barely brushing his cheek. Dean looked over at Castiel in awe, and Castiel just smiled softly. "I have a crush on you too, Dean," Castiel told him sweetly, and Dean felt his heart bursting with joy, his cheeks flushing with a feeling he had heard his parents talk about but he had never encountered.  


"I think I love you Castiel."

Two.

Dean looked sourly over at Castiel who sat calmly at his desk, writing. It was sixth grade, and since second grade, a lot of things had changed. For example, Castiel and Dean had fallen apart, Meg Masters had come into the picture, and now they barely talked. But there was one thing that hadn't changed, and it was the most important of them all; Dean's stomach still silently flipped the slightest bit when he saw Castiel, he still wanted to hold hands with him, still secretly wanted to pass those stupid love notes that got them in trouble. But all that was over now, said and done, and Dean tried not to touch those stupid feelings with a ten foot pole.

Incidentally, the same day that Dean found himself reminiscing about Castiel, he ran right into him as the two were leaving the school. "Oh, sorry!" Castiel exclaimed as the two went head first into each other, their books tumbling to the ground. Dean clenched his jaw, a noise of aggravation leaving him as he knelt down to pick up his books. There was an awkward silence, the slight ruffling of papers and binders overlaying it, and Castiel felt the need to break it. "I haven't talked to you in a while," Castiel began calmly.

"Yeah," Dean responded dully. When the silence didn't cease he continued. "How's Meg?" he asked. Castiel simply scoffed.

"We broke up a while ago, she was too clingy," Castiel sighed, and Dean didn't want to admit it, but his heart soared at that simple sentence. 

Then, as both boys gathered their things and stood, about to say their goodbyes, Dean remembered how he had told Cas he loved him years ago, how it was stupid then, but maybe not now, maybe it wasn't too late for him and Castiel. For them. "Cas, wait," Dean said as Castiel turned to leave without a goodbye. Castiel whipped back around, looking expectantly at Dean. "Do you wanna, maybe, I don't know, come over my house?" Dean asked hopefully, looking down at the ground, and kicking one shoe against the pavement. There was silence, so he looked up to find Castiel smiling.

"I think I'd like that," Castiel responded quietly.

\---

A week or so later Dean and Castiel were sitting across from each other during Math class. Dean looked up, remembering what second grade was like, remembering how he felt. Of course it was minimal, a silly crush, but now it seemed more than a crush. He grinned a toothy grin, ripping out a piece of paper from his notebook and neatly writing something that was very important to him, and to, he hoped, Castiel.

Dean slid the note over to Castiel, watching his reaction, watching his eyes move quickly over the words. Then, an enormous smile grew on his face as he looked up at Dean. 

Cas kept the note for years to come. What did it say? 'I always loved you.'

Three.

"Spin it, spin it, spin it!" Charlie enthusiastically encouraged Dean from the circle of friends they sat in. Dean had offered up his own basement for the privacy of an eighth grade 'party.' Castiel, Dean, Charlie, and a few more of their friends were gathered around an empty root beer bottle, playing Seven Minutes in Heaven.

The relationship between Castiel and Dean had been rocky with breakups, heartbreaks, new crushes. Yet somehow, they always managed to find their way back to each other, no matter what.

For now their relationship was solid, they had been together for nearly a month, but neither of them minded the game. It was Charlie's suggestion in the first place, and Castiel nor Dean was about to protest to it.

Dean took a deep breath, praying that it would not land on his best friend Benny, or on Ruby. He spun it, the rattling of the bottle echoing through the room, silence all around it. The bottle slowed, and everyone craned their necks to see, to guess who it would land on. And it landed on Castiel. "Okay, that is rigged," Jo declared, looking at the bottle.

"You're just saying that because you wanted it to land on you," Balthazar mumbled under his breath. Jo heard it, however, and punched him in the arm. "Ow! Jo, you need to stop with the physical aggression. It's painful," Balthazar told her, rubbing his arm.

But the room was no longer focused on the little tiff between Jo and Balthazar, they were focused on the fact that Castiel and Dean, who were hand in hand, walking with trepidation towards the old closet of improvisation that Dean had cleared the tools and dust out of. "I'll start the timer!" Charlie proclaimed eagerly, grabbing her phone and typing in the time. Dean and Castiel fit into the closet, awkwardly shifting as the eyes of the room were drawn to them. Charlie nodded and the closet doors closed.

"Sooo, what are we supposed to do exactly?" Castiel inquired. Luckily they could speak at their normal tones of voice due to the distance between them and the group of friends. 

"Kiss, make out, grope, have sex," Dean said calmly, and Castiel choked at the last one.

"Sex?" Castiel repeated, his voice higher than usual. Dean just chuckled, wishing he could see Castiel's face through the dark.

"We're not gonna have sex Cas, don't worry." Dean shifted closer to Castiel. "But we're wasting time. Listen, if you want, we can make out, like french kissing. We've never really... done that before," Dean said quietly. "Cas?" he said after a silence fell in the small closet. But suddenly there were lips on Dean's, Cas' lips, and there was a warm, wet tongue, sliding across the seam of Dean's mouth. Dean furrowed his eyebrows yet opened his mouth hesitantly, shivering at the feeling of Castiel's tongue in his mouth. At first, Dean was ambivalent about it. It felt... strange. But then he relaxed into the feeling with a sigh, their tongues moving sloppily and messily, with no experience whatsoever. Dean was at a loss of what to do with his hands, realizing that they were just hanging by his sides. He shakily brought them up to Castiel's shoulders, gently placing them there, stepping a little closer to him.

After a minute or so Castiel pulled away smiling, Dean doing the same. Above the sound of blood rushing in their ears, they heard footsteps towards the closet. "I love you," Dean whispered with a soft smile before Balthazar opened the door.

Four.

Dean and Castiel had had quite the rollercoaster of relationship issues and events and fights and loves and first times. And then they had the history of 'I love you's' said from second grade toothy smiles, to nervous freshman squeezing hands before class. And the thing was, they never quite understood it. Love. It's a powerful word with powerful meaning, and neither of them had exactly delved into it, only seen the face card, touched the very tippy top of the tower of tumbling feelings and emotions and happenings that all come with love. But now they were beginning to understand. As juniors, seventeen year olds, their 'love' became love.

It became a solidified something, something that after feeling love, after realizing that all of those years combined made up love, made the entity whole, made it really there. But it took a push for each of them to lock it in place, to put their hearts in a box and lock them up, carving each other's name on the lid.

\---

Prom night was the classic night for losing your virginity, and, of course, it was a big night for everyone. But Cas and Dean didn't go to Prom, that was the thing. They stayed at Dean's, luckily enough, empty house, watching movies, cuddling, and, well... losing their virginity.

"I don't want to make it rushed," Dean said quietly to Castiel, who sat next to him on the bed. Castiel smiled kindly at him and intertwined their fingers. 

"It's not going to be perfect Dean, you know that, right?" Castiel inquired. Dean fiddled with his fingers, looking down at his lap.

"But I want to make it perfect," Dean mumbled, and Castiel gently took his chin in his hand, directing his eyes towards Castiel's.

"Dean, it could be God awful and I would still stay with you. But I know it won't be God awful because you're Dean Winchester and somehow you always seem to exceed my expectations," Castiel told him with a grin. Dean smiled shyly back. Castiel's eyes darted down towards Dean's lips and Dean grinned.

"Should I take your virginity now?" Dean asked softly and jokingly, leaning forwards. Castiel laughed and pulled Dean into his arms, flopping down on the bed before giving him a sweet kiss.

"Please do," he whispered, and Dean grinned widely before abiding.

Castiel's lips were always soft, and always sweet, that was something that Dean remembered, and always will during moments like these. Their mouths moved in synchrony now, no longer sloppy kisses, no longer inexperienced mouths. They had grown to know each other, to know exactly how to kiss, how to drive the other mad with a playful tongue and teasing lips.

Their bodies were like Oceans, explored yet always deeper, always hiding undiscovered finds like little freckles that had gone unnoticed, dimples or hairs or birthmarks, places that tickled, place that were sensitive, they were all discovered, yet there was always more. Their fingers had grown from sweaty, sticky, and anxious to gentle and caring, sometimes nervous, yet guided sweetly by the other.

Their Prom night was no different as they fumbled and giggled, as they messed up, and accidentally tickled the other. But then, there was a sweet mixture of sensations that they had never felt before, a new discovery in the Ocean, a new way of touching the other. There were breathy moans, repeated names falling sacredly from lips, gentle or strong thrusts, an undulating of two bodies, two persons, persons that loved each other, that realized amidst the sweaty, sticky skin, and the soft moans and the heated climaxes that neither of them could've imagined that they realized that yes, this was love. They were in love.

So as they lay there panting, sweating, heart beats racing, Dean grinned, and looked over at Castiel, and said those three words that not until now held something more important than Ring Pop wedding rings or silly love notes or text messages.

"I love you."

Five.

Dean sighed in contentment at the warmth that Castiel's body offered as they lay cuddled together on the couch. Castiel was reading, and Dean was in and out of little cat naps. His eyes darted up, catching the look on Castiel's face, admiring him, admiring the way he was simply there with Dean. Dean smiled, twirling his wedding ring around on his finger and remembering old times, good times, bad times, everything, and his heart swelled for some strange reason because he never did this, never got emotional about the past. But now, he was, so he looked back up at Castiel and said the three words he remembered so well from his childhood.

"I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> So I hope you guys liked that, I'm still in the midst of moving so apologies once again for my rogue posting pattern!! Anyways, let me know what you guys thought of this fic, feedback is, as always, amazing and appreciated!! :)


End file.
